Do you sometimes wish you were a different type of person?

It’s not a question of changing ourselves to become better people. We can always practise being kinder or more assertive. For example if we’re prone to self-pity, we work at focusing less on ourselves and more on others. It takes hard work but the end result is something worth fighting for. If we’re diehard pessimists, we change our thoughts and learn to see the glass as half full.

But I’ve concluded that there are some things I can’t change. I for one wish I was the type of person who loves the hot weather, or who would willingly wake up at 5am to go to the gym. I wish I loved water sports more, such as diving and I really really wish I enjoyed running more. I wish I loved eating spicy food, or celery for that matter. I wish I could appreciate wine and coffee, ditto with jazz music and books by Milan Kundera.

But I’ve tried all these and much as I hate to say it, I’m not that into them. I can do all this stuff enjoyably but I know deep down no matter how much I try, I will never love them as much as singing, or listening to my favourite opera arias on a repeated loop the whole day. They will not match my love of shoes and pretty things, or my inclination to do nothing but lie on my bed on the weekend.

I would characterize it as loving the idea of doing all these things more than actually doing them. To put it another way, sometimes I lose sight of what I actually enjoy versus what I think I ought to enjoy.

But different people find different activities and things fulfilling and I just have to own the stuff I like to do and be true to me rather than trying to convince myself I’m cut out for something else.